Friday, May 30, 2008
Okay, I'm still reeling from last night's LOST episode. We gotta wait until the new season to start unraveling all the questions it brought up. Gaaaah! Good thing I have a huge pile of summer reading waiting for me or I'd go crazy.
For today's giveaway, I'm offering a copy of Wendy Toliver's SECRET LIFE OF A TEENAGE SIREN (I had one copy and then lovely Wendy gave me a signed one after our fabulous sushi lunch in Ogden when I was visiting Utah.)
To be entered for the random drawing for this book, tell me how you think Locke ended up in that casket and why they were calling him Jeremy Benthem. Or if you think Jin jumped off the ship before it blew up. Or where the heck the polar bears or black smoke come in to all this. Or any of the other mysteries of LOST.
If you are not a LOST watcher (gasp!), just leave a post about your favorite (G-rated) obsession.
Happy Friday, everyone!!!
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Monday, May 26, 2008
Friday, May 23, 2008
Anyway, it's Friday today so that means my mom gives away free stuff. I'm not exactly sure how this works, but I imagine some of you have done this before. HOWEVER, since I'm runnin the show today, I've decided that we're gonna change things up this week... Pretend for a second that Death By Bikini is made into a movie. Who should play each character in the movie? And please don't say Lindsay Lohan as Aphra Connolly.
My mom will be back this evening to check out your cast lists.
Leave your entry for a chance at winning! (Pretty dang exciting, huh?)
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Nice. Last night's finale between David Archuleta and David Cook was something to watch. Okay, I could have done without the silly boxing theme (who else thought it was hilarious watching David A make his appearance in boxing gloves and robe, grinning?) and the songwriter winner songs were meh squared, but both Davids put their hearts into their performances and who could help but be impressed?
Edited to add: CONGRATULATIONS, DAVID COOK!
Best of success to you, David Archuleta!
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Thank you so much everyone for sharing the excitement of DEATH BY BIKINI at our party this weekend! A special thanks to all my fabulous author friends who helped me celebrate, the the fantastic reviewers who have been kind enough to mention the book (and the giveaways) on their blogs and to the readers who make this whole thing possible!
And now, without further ado... The Great Name Drawing! If you have won a prize, please contact me at gerb at lindagerber dot com and send me your mailing information so that we can get your prize to you. If you did not win anything this time around, please keep visiting me each week for Freebie Fridays. I'll keep it up as long as I can!
YOU HAD ME AT HALO by Amanda Ashby: Anne
THE SECRET LIFE OF A TEENAGE SIREN by Wendy Toliver: Kristin Painter
VIOLET ON THE RUNWAY by Melissa Walker: Please check Melissa's blog on Wednesday for the winner!
ZETA AND OMEGA by Kate Harmon a.k.a. Marley Gibson: Samantha
THE NEW SISTERS by Kate Harmon a.k.a. Marley Gibson: Tetewa
RUNAWAY PRINCESS by Kate Coombs: Bunny B
SECRETS OF MY SUBURBAN LIFE by Lauren Baratz-Logsted: Aimee C
NINTH GRADE SLAYS by Heather Brewer: Parker
Borders Gift Certificate (perfect for buying READ MY LIPS by Teri Brown when it's released next month!!!): Ginger
Cherry phone charm c/o Sarah Hantz: Lenore
MS. ZEPHYR'S NOTEBOOK by kc dyer: Check kc's blog on Thursday for the announcement of the winner!
DEATH BY BIKINI by yours truly: Kwana
Rubik's Cube c/o Kelly Para: Andy
SCREWBALL by Keri Mikulski: paperxxflowers
FRENEMIES by Alexa Young: book adorer
THAT'S WHAT'S UP by Paula Chase Hyman: softindierocker
NATALIE GOLDBERG LEARNS TO SALSA by Micol Ostow: Meredith
Random Names for Random Swag:
Bikini iPod/Cell Phone Charms: Kwana, Danette, Jen, Amie Dupire
DEATH BY BIKINI Koozie: mybkclub, Renee, Susan Adrian, Hillary
Barnes and Noble Gift Card: Daniel
Borders Gift Card: Rachel
iPod Gift Card: Breanna
And the iPod shuffle goes to: Krystal
Congratulations, everyone! Have a fabulous weekend and tell all your friends to go out an buy DEATH BY BIKINI!!! : )
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Happy Saturday! Thanks everyone, for coming to celebrate the release of DEATH BY BIKINI with me! Today we wrap up the celebration with posts and more great giveaways from Kelly Para, Keri Mikulski, Alexa Young, Paula Chase Hyman and Micol Ostow!
Remember, the book giveaways all three days are open until tomorrow, May 18 (unless otherwise specified.) If you want to be entered to win books from Thursday's or Friday's posts, you still have time to reply to those posts until the contest is closed. Meanwhile, if you respond to any of the posts during this celebration, your name will be entered in the drawing to win an iPod Shuffle! The more times you have responded, the more name strips you will have in the Great Random Name Drawing Jar. And if you invite a friend to party and they mention that you brought them along, you get another name strip in the jar.
MORE PRIZES: Because I'm having so much fun, names will also be drawn for the following prizes... *bikini ipod/cell phone charms * Death by Bikini koozies * Borders gift card *Barnes & Noble gift card *iTunes card
And now, yesterday's winner of a signed copy of DEATH BY BIKINI is: Bunny B
Congratulations! Please shoot me an email at gerb at lindagerber dot com and give me your address and I'll get it sent off to you!
Meanwhile, party with today's great guest bloggers!!! And if you'd like a chance to win a signed copy of DEATH BY BIKINI, leave a reply to this post!
P.S. If you are in the Columbus area, stop in to my book signing at the Polaris Barnes & Noble from 1-3 today. If you mention the blog, I'll have a little something extra for you...
Hi Everyone! I’m Kelly Parra (www.KellyParra.com) and I’m here to help celebrate with Linda for her release of DEATH BY BIKINI!! Yay! I thought I’d write a quick beach short story based on my September 2008 release, INVISIBLE TOUCH (MTV Books). Since I don’t have any copies yet, if you leave a comment, you’ll be entered to win a Rubik’s Cube. Why a Rubik’s Cube, you might ask? Read on… :)
Ocean Fate: An Invisible Touch Short Story
I was twisting my old, scratched Rubik’s Cube on the far edges of Montecito Beach when I spotted Anthony. He sat alone on the rocks, distant, the wind teasing his dark hair. He was all tan, and toned. His tank top tucked in the back pocket of his jeans.
He watched the waves as if he couldn’t pull away, and it was the same for me with him. There was a time I would have been afraid to go near him, a time I would never have felt the sand between my toes again.
I tamped down the guilt that tried to rise within me. It was apparent, we both thought of someone else at this beach. He finally turned, and met my eyes. I gave a wave, his mouth curving as he stood.
A surfer walked in front of me, his wet suit pulled to his waist, with his board propped at his side. He shoved his board into the sand, and twisted toward me to pull up his suit.
I blinked--and was swamped by the sounds of the beach echoing against my eardrums. The sizzling rush of the waves on shore. The squawk of seagulls above. The flapping of the wind against a beach umbrella. A lone child’s high-pitched laughter.
My pulse slowed, my breaths thinned. The shoreline behind the surfer dulled to gray, and the surfer brightened. Glowed.
His eyes are blue. The color of a tropical ocean. His skin a sun-kissed golden, hair the color of sunflowers. My eyes moved down his throat to the center of his bare chest. There an image formed, a sign for my eyes only.
The surfer in the water, struggling to stay afloat.
He turned away and the image vanished. I gasped for air. My fingers clenched the cube as I watched him jog toward the waves with his board. Too close to my own nightmares.
“Kara, what’s wrong?” Anthony was in front of me, his hands on my shoulders. He knew I’d seen something. It wasn’t the first one I’d experienced, and it wouldn’t be the last.
“The surfer.” I swallowed hard. “He can’t go in.” But I couldn’t move forward.
“Don’t worry, I’ll stop him.” He jogged to the surfer, grabbed his arm. The surfer jerked away from Anthony. They exchanged words, the surfer shrugging Anthony off and started in. Then Anthony tackled him in the waves.
I winced, and did my best to shove away my fears as I forced myself to run toward the ocean. My heart pounded in my chest, my palm sweaty around my cube. The damp sand under my feet had me tensing. The chilled water swallowing my ankles made me shudder.
Still, I grabbed at Anthony as they wrestled. “Stop!”
Anthony finally pulled away, breathing hard. The surfer sat, holding his right side, his chest heaving, too.
“What the hell, man?” the surfer said, his face pale.
“I’m trying to save your life,” Anthony muttered, and spit out salty water.
The surfer winced, hunching forward.
“I think you need to see a doctor,” I told him.
“Yeah.” He glanced at us. “Thanks. It’s not from you. My stomach’s been bothering me, but the waves called to me. If I would have been too far out…” He shook his head. “How’d you know?”
I flicked my eyes down at Anthony. “I saw you favoring your side.”
Anthony scowled. “And if your punkass would’ve just listened—”
The words, dangerous summer romance, are filled with intrigue and scandal. Did this happen to me? Not exactly, unless you count the sizzling summer night when I rode on the back of my boyfriend’s motorcycle when I was sixteen and he was underage and unlicensed. His parents were away, so he ‘borrowed’ his dad’s bike and picked me up at a party. It was amazing. We rode around town all night or at least until my ten o’clock curfew.
Since that’s as close as I’ve ever came to participating in a dangerous summer romance, I’m going to choose the top three guys that I’d like to have a dangerous summer romance with (besides of course my wonderful hubby). Check out the winners.
1. Derek Jeter – During the summer, he’s a bit busy with baseball, so it might not exactly be dangerous, unless I get hit with a foul ball while I’m watching him play or get trampled on by the million girls who want to get near him.
2. Ultimate Fighter Wrestler – They’re rough and tough and certainly capable of getting into all sorts of danger. I bet at least one of them has a motorcycle. Yummy.
3.Brady Quinn – Now this athlete would be available. Footballers only practice during the summer months. But, how would it be dangerous? Hmm. I guess I would be considered a cougar with Quinn, since I’m ten years his senior. Since, I’m a preying animal, it would definitely be considered dangerous. JWho would you pick to have a dangerous summer romance with? In honor of Gerb’s launch of DEATH BY BIKINI, I’m going to giveaway a signed copy of my semi dangerous summer romance novel, SCREWBALL, to one lucky commenter who tells me who they would like to have a dangerous summer romance with. Happy summer! J
Hey, party people (I can’t believe I just said that). Big congratulations to our fabulous hostess on the official release of DEATH BY BIKINI, which I can’t wait to read. (I’m already in love with it, just based on the plot description and that ridiculously awesome cover.) Since my book, FRENEMIES, came out three short days ago, my life’s been a non-stop rager…so what better excuse to party-hop on over to the DBB cyber-soiree, right? (Hey! Pass me a few cocktail weenies and some pineapple juice with a fancy umbrella, wouldja?)
Okay then, on to the matter at hand: Gerb advised all us cyber-partiers to pick from a list of appropriate topics, and I decided to go with…BEACH ADVENTURE! Now, while it’s true I’m pretty much adventure personified—and I’ve visited my share of beaches from Southern California to Cape Cod to Australia’s Gold Coast—I’m a little worried that recounting one of my billions of adventures might be SO exciting that the blogosphere would implode from the hugeness of it all. So instead, I’m going to tell you a bit about an adventure my two best FRENEMIES had while kicking it, La Jolla, California-style. It seemed like just another sunny SoCal day at the beach—until, that is, things went HORRIBLY wrong…
“Hello? 9-1-1? I have an emergency to report…” Avalon Greene’s voice trembled with each word she spoke into her cell phone.
“Please state the nature of your call,” droned the operator on the other end of the line.
“Ohmygod…it’s AWFUL!” Avalon was starting to feel light-headed now—and not just because of the late-afternoon heat. “It’s…it’s…it’s the worst disaster I’ve ever seen.” She blinked back a tear and looked out at a group of girls sauntering along the shoreline in their barely-there bikinis, while surfers bobbed up and down in the deep blue water of the Pacific, waiting for the perfect wave. How could everybody remain so calm—so oblivious to what Avalon had just witnessed?
“Young lady, please calm down and state the nature of your call,” responded the operator. “Where are you calling from? What is the situation?”
“Okay.” Avalon tried to compose herself. “I’m sorry. It’s just that I don’t know how to describe it. It’s sort of…well…like Cirque du Soleil just threw up all over the sand!”
Avalon shook with laughter and shot a self-satisfied look at her best friend, Halley Brandon, who just widened her pale blue eyes in disbelief.
“I’m sorry, miss, I still do not understand the nature of your call.” The operator sounded less animated than a live-action movie.
“How can you not understand?” Avalon squealed. “WE’RE HAVING A MAJOR FASHION EMERGENCY HERE!”
Before the operator could say anything, Avalon hit the end button on her phone and collapsed into Halley.
“Dude, I can’t believe you just did that,” Halley gasped. “You’re out of control. Do you know how much trouble you could get in?”
“What, like they can trace a call from a cell phone?” Avalon tossed her long, flaxen hair indignantly, slid on her oversized sunglasses and stretched out on her towel. “Come on. Even if they could trace the call, which they can’t, you know my parents would get me out of it in a second. They are lawyers, after all.”
“Yeah, right! Your parents wouldn’t bail you out. They’d haul you off to jail. In fact…” Halley paused, sat straight up and leaned in close to whisper melodramatically, “…they’ll probably be riding shotgun in the cop car when they come to arrest you!”
As Halley’s words bounced around Avalon’s head, her stomach did a back-flip worthy of Olympic gold. What if Halley was right? What if her call was being traced right now? What if her parents tried to ground her for the rest of the school year—a serious sentence, considering eighth grade had only just started. Or…ohmygod…could she go to juvie for something like this? Avalon quickly turned off her phone.
“Please don’t scare me like that,” she said tersely, carefully placing the phone in her pink floral beach tote and adjusting her mint-colored bandeau bikini top. “I swear you almost made me anxiety-barf. It’ll be fine. Right? It’ll be totally fine.”
“I dunno…I’ve seen Law and Order and you can’t just call 9-1-1 if you don’t have a real emergency,” Halley practically sang, wiggling her deeply-tanned shoulders antagonistically. “Then again…ohmygod! I think this qualifies! You described that outfit exactly! What is Cassidy thinking?”
“I know!” Avalon laughed, shifting her visions of prison to a remote part of her mind. She looked down the shoreline where Cassidy Woolfe, one of the girls’ typically fashion-forward classmates, not to mention the student body VP, slowly disappeared out of sight. “Could that have been more of a NO?”
“Uh, NO.” Halley giggled. “I mean, who wears a full black bodysuit and bathing cap to the beach?”
“And that weird, fluffy-white shrug on her arms looked like giant water wings!” Avalon contorted her face in horror, still shocked that someone with such impeccable style could take such a disastrous style detour. “I swear, all she needed was some white face paint and she could have been a MIME!”
Avalon fell back into Halley and they shared one last fit of hysterics before she allowed herself to relax and enjoy the last few rays of the day. She had just drifted off to sleep, visions of Cassidy’s major clothes-pas fading with the setting sun, when the sound of police sirens wailed into earshot, causing every muscle in Avalon’s body to tense.
Oh. My. God. Had Halley been right? Was Avalon about to be arrested for reporting a crime of fashion…? And could the case really hold up in a court of law—especially considering Cassidy Woolfe was so obviously the REAL offender here?
Want to read more about the adventures of two fashion-obsessed BFFs who become worst enemies? Leave a comment here and you’ll be entered to win a copy of FRENEMIES! And please come visit me at www.alexayoung.blogspot.com and check out the official FRENEMIES site at www.bestfrenemiesforever.com.
I have always loved a good book release (especially when the book promises to be such a fab summer read!), so I was thrilled to be invited to participate in Linda's BIKINI party. The best part? I TOTALLY don't even have to wear a bathing suit to participate. No self-consciousness, no three-way mirrors, no department store dressing room fluorescent lights.
To be entered to win a copy, leave a reply to this post.
Friday, May 16, 2008
Whew! Ya'll are some partyers! Thanks for joining me in celebrating the launch of DEATH BY BIKINI!
Yesterday was an extra-special day because not only did I get to celebrate my launch, but it was my son's birthday. We celebrated by going to see IRON MAN. Way cool movie!
Today I celebrate with a school visit to Hastings in Upper Arlington. (Hi, Hastings!) Behave yourselves while I'm gone. You can help yourself to the goodies in the fridge, but remember the cabana boys are keeping an eye on you!
All other contests remain open until Sunday, so if you missed any of the super fun posts from yesterday, you can still leave a comment and your name will go into the Great Random Name Drawing Jar.
The BIKINI ON THE SHELF contest is also open until Sunday. Send me a digital photo showing where you saw DEATH BY BIKINI on the shelves in your local bookstore and you could win an iPod Shuffle.win
And now, today's guest bloggers are Lauren Baratz-Logsted, Heather Brewer, Teri Brown, Sara Hantz and kc dyer!
Meanwhile, to enter today's random drawing to win a signed copy of DEATH BY BIKINI, simply reply to this post.
Let the party continue!!!
I'm thrilled to be part of the launch fun for my pal Gerb's novel, DEATH BY BIKINI!
I can't remember any dangerous summer romances (unless we call love dangerous, which I suppose it always is) and I don't remember ever meeting any mysterious strangers. Maybe I have, but I'm simply too old to remember? But I do have one notable beach story to tell about someone else, a relative. Just to have something to call this person, let's refer to him henceforth as My Brother.
During his college days, My Brother once went on spring break to Bermuda with a bunch of friends. In the evenings, they used to go to a nightclub where open mic was part of the schedule, with audience members getting up to tell jokes. My Brother has always been great at telling jokes and his friends egged him on. My Brother was going to tell a limerick that began, "There once was a girl from Nantucket..." As he was waiting in line to go on stage, another guy was telling a joke having to do with a doughnut. That doughnut must have lodged in My Brother's mind something fierce, because when My Brother stepped up to the mic and began, "There once was a girl from Nantucket," for the first time in his life he got stage fright and the only thing he could think of to say to finish off the limerick was, "so I ate her."
Next day on the beach, everywhere My Brother walked, he could hear people whispering behind him, "so I ate her." There was a limbo contest going on and, as My Brother walked next to it, the cheering and the cries of "so I ate her" grew so loud, the accompanying applause qualified him for second place prize in the contest...and he never even had to shimmy under the bar!
So that's my story, or the story of this person we're calling "My Brother," and I'm sticking to it.
Feel free to leave a comment below for a chance to win a signed copy of my own YA novel, SECRETS OF MY SUBURBAN LIFE and visit me anytime at www.laurenbaratzlogsted.com.
Strangers Have the Best Candy
I've always been fascinated with mysterious strangers—strangers, after all, have the best candy. So it's not really surprising that my books tend to feature them. And no matter the genre, the mysterious stranger tends to often be there, intriguing us to learn more about who they are, about where they fit in. You never know whether the stranger is the love of the protagonist's life or the end of their life. It's that shadow, that mystery that draws us to them. And mystery, I like to think, is a large part of what makes a story worth reading.
It is no mystery, however, that Linda Gerber's DEATH BY BIKINI is a debut worth celebrating. It looks to be chock full of twists and turns (not to mention a rockstar's strangled girlfriend…strangled with a bikini top, I might add). And it is my absolute honor to raise a sandy glass in celebration. Way to go, Linda!
If you'd like to win a copy of my most recent book, NINTH GRADE SLAYS (the second book in The Chronicles of Vladimir Tod series), just leave a comment answering me this: if you were to murder someone on a beach, what would you use as a weapon?
For more on me and Vlad, please stop by my blog, Bleeding Ink! (http://www.heatherbrewer.com
The ocean has always frightened me. I was three when I first saw it. Loved the sand. Loved the picnic my mom brought. Hated the ocean. Would not, could not, go near the water.
As a teen, I hid my fears—almost as afraid of being made fun of as I was the ocean. I would skirt the edge, claiming that I didn’t want to get wet, but in reality, I was terrified, because, let’s face it, the ocean is huge. Standing in front of that vast body of water, I felt like the proverbial drop in the bucket, so very, very small and insignificant.
It was a horse that finally changed my mind. As much as I feared the ocean, I loved horses more. It had been ten years since I had been on a horse, and for a girl raised with them, it seemed like an eternity. When my boyfriend stopped at a horse ranch on the Oregon coast, I was more than intrigued, I was excited. Is there anything more romantic in the world than riding a horse on the beach?
The sun sat low on the ocean as we headed off. Because I was an experienced rider, the trail guide told me I didn’t have to stay with the group and my boyfriend and I headed out by ourselves. My horse kept veering into the water to paw at the waves, soaking me with spray. For the first time, the ocean didn’t scare me. And when I urged the horse into a gallop, I knew I would never be afraid of the ocean again.
And I’m not. I still have a healthy respect for the ocean… here in Oregon, we have sneaker waves— huge waves that come out of nowhere and take the unwary off their feet. But afraid? Not anymore.
Of course, Linda Gerber’s Death by Bikini might change all that…But luckily, I’m more afraid of wearing a bikini than I ever was the ocean!
What are you afraid of? Reply to this post for a chance to win a Borders gift certificate.
I’m so excited to be part of Linda’s launch party. I’ve been hanging out for the release of Death by Bikini. And what a fabulous title. Pure genius.
Anyway, to celebrate with Linda I decided to pop open a bottle of bubbly, unwrap a huge block of dark ginger flavored chocolate (I’m that sort of giving person, even though it’s only ten in the morning I’m forcing myself to do this!!) and talk to you about my beach adventures. Hang on a moment… I’ve never had any beach adventures… unless you think vacations in Europe with my best friend adventurous.
Trouble is they were so long ago I can’t really remember what we got up to… apart from going paragliding, having more Sangria than should be allowed and meeting some gorgeous European guys who took us around on their scooters…. And that’s probably as much as I’m going to say (on the grounds it might incriminate me), other than we had such fun (hmmm… maybe there’s a book in there).
So, HUGE HUGE congratulations to Linda. Death by Bikini is going to be a HUGE success (am I allowed to say HUGE this many times?).
There’s a cute cherry phone charm up for grabs and all you have to do is post a comment.
Bio: Sara Hantz started writing when she ran out of degrees to study and decided it was much more fun to make things up than to comment on dry academics. Born in England, she moved to New Zealand a few years ago. The Second Virginity of Suzy Green is Sara's first novel.
And if you'd like to win copy of MS. ZEPHYR'S NOTEBOOK, why not send me the name of your favourite beach? The winner will be announced here and on my blog (http://kcdyer.blogspot.com) next Thursday, May 22. Best of luck to you all!
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Thanks to everyone tuning in to my cyber party to celebrate the release of DEATH BY BIKINI! I'm glad you could make it!
For the next four days, there will be chances to win, win, win - so tune in! And here's a secret way to increase your chance of winning... reply to the posts. Everyone who responds to any of these posts is automatically entered for the random drawing to win an iPod Shuffle... and here's the trick - each reply qualifies you for another name slip in the drawing jar. AND if you bring a friend and they mention that you invited them to the party, you get another name strip in the jar.
We're going to kick it off today with posts and book giveaways from Amanda Ashby, Wendy Toliver, Melissa Walker, Marley Gibson and Kate Coombs!
Meanwhile, if you would like a chance to win your very own signed copy of DEATH BY BIKINI, simply reply to this post.
LET THE PARTY BEGIN!
Gosh, don’t you just love a party, especially a cyber one where you don’t actually have to dress up! (Not that I’m writing this in my pajamas of course, because that would make me look like a tardy writer who is too lazy to even get dressed in the morning and obviously I’m not that sort of person. Definitely not). Anyway, this isn’t about me, it’s about Gerb and the release of her latest book, DEATH BY BIKINI, and to help her celebrate I thought I’d take a moment to talk about the dangers of bikinis.
Yes, that’s right. Bikinis are more dangerous than a suitcase full of scorpions, a roomful of tigers or even a bunch of axe-wielding maniacs who have all had a little bit too much Red Bull. You see everyday the bikini takes new victims as they lure people in with the promise of all-over tanning, and everyday there are causalities, myself included. So to help you avoid suffering as I have suffered, I have created a list of safety measures that one should consider when wearing the treacherous two-piece.
1) Never buy white bikinis. Ever. It doesn’t matter how lovely your tan is or how much lining they have, you can guarantee that the moment you hit the water you will be wearing several panels of see-through fabric. And, while there is no logic behind the timing of this, you can be assured that the person you least want to see you like this, will in fact be standing right in front of you.
2) Never sunbath with an iPod resting on your stomach. This rule also extends to cans of Diet Coke, books and your best friend’s cute necklace that you borrowed two months ago and ‘forgot’ to ever give back to her – because you are one tan mark away from being found out.
3) Don’t eat that extra packet of M&Ms the night before you plan to hit the beach because when you’re in a bikini there is no where to hide ANYTHING!
4) Now this is where it gets technical because we need to cover a force of nature known as gravity. Sometimes gravity is our friend, for example it is the thing that stops us from floating off into space. However, when bikinis and big waves are involved, gravity is the enemy and it will tug and yank at your itsy bitsy top until it’s down around your ankles thereby making your face look like you’ve just spent three days out in the blazing sun. There are no winners when gravity is concerned.
5) Walking. Bikinis look great when you’re standing still. Even better when you’re lying on your back and all you can see is a flat stomach and slim thighs (and hey, if there is other stuff hanging down, at least it’s out of sight), but walking is another problem all together and my only advice is to cover up in a cute see-through top that brings out your tan and hides your wobbles.
6) World domination. That’s right. If you’ve been brave enough to wear a bikini at the beach then this proves that you are in fact capable of doing anything that you want in this life, so if world domination is in the master plan, then you will succeed. Congratulations.
So that’s my list, but what about everyone else? Do you have any bikini tips to pass onto the rest of us? The winner will be drawn randomly and will receive a copy of my book You Had Me at Halo about a dead girl who gets sent back to earth to figure out how she died (and no, it wasn’t by a bikini!!!)
I always think of Sandy and Danny in "Grease," and that whole "Summer Lovin'" number. You catch a guy's eye at camp, at the pool, or at the mall. Since you don't know him from Adam, he could be a tenor in his private school's show choir or a bad boy straight out of juvie.
Once at summer camp, when I was about 14, I met this guy from Texas (myself living in Colorado). He was really cute--dark curly hair, tan, tall, and athletic. And who in their right mind is immune to that soft, Southern drawl? For some reason, he had developed a crush on me. One day, he gave me the chunky gold ring right off his finger. I thought this was a bit odd, but hey, he was from Texas so maybe that's what they did down there.
He followed me around, and we hung out at all the group activities. He even held my hand on movie night. The only thing going against this guy was his tie-dyed "Stud Muffin" T-shirt (I kid you not, it had "Stud Muffin" airsprayed across the chest). And right, he lived in a whole other state. Mind you, this was before the age of the internet, so after we parted ways, we were reduced to penpals and after 5:00 PM phone calls (so it wasn't too expensive).
Sometimes he'd call me and there'd be a girl's voice in the background. He'd be talking to her instead of me, and I didn't know who she was. In time, I got back into the guys at my own school (none of whom sported tie-dyed "Stud Muffin" shirts) and realized that this "relationship" had gone as far as it possibly could. I mailed his ring back to him. A week or two later, he called (with the same loud girl in the background) and said he hadn't received the ring. I felt bad, because I wasn't sure if it was a family heirloom or something. Then again, I wasn't sure if he was telling the truth about not having received it. I'm not sure what ever happened to him, but it was my first summer romance.
So... tell me about your first summer romance and you will be entered to win a signed copy of THE SECRET LIFE OF A TEENAGE SIREN!
A Beachy Top 5
In honor of the release of Linda Gerber’s DEATH BY BIKINI, I present to you:
The Top 5 Reasons I Love a Beach Read
5. Because although it’s great to read the newspaper
every day and tackle sprawling New Yorker stories,
sometimes I just want a little romance and mystery to
4. Because I need a cute cover to go with my hot
bikini, and beach reads always have the best covers.
(Just look at that cover for Death By Bikini!)
3. Because I want a book I can breeze through joyfully
during a weekend trip—not one that takes me a month to
2. Because I’ve always wanted to be the kind of girl
who finds herself IN a beach read adventure, and those
paperback pages are as close as I’ve gotten… so far.
1. Because sometimes, when I’m reading hugely literary
works, I need a dictionary. And my beach bag SO does
not have room for a dictionary.
Now, if you tell me one reason you love a beach read,
I’ll pick a commenter below to win a signed copy of my
first book, Violet on the Runway! (You can read more
about me and the book at melissacwalker.com). I’ll
choose a winner next Wednesday, which will be
announced both here and on my site. Good luck!
To be entered to win a signed copy of ZETA OR OMEGA or THE NEW SISTERS, all you have to do is reply to this post! BONUS!!! TWO winners will be selected!